May 12, 2023
Do you have a bully in your workplace? Would you recognize the signs that there is a bully in your midst? Do you have one supervisor with a long string of “problem performers”? Is there one department that has a constant revolving door of employees? Does one employee spend an inordinate amount of time talking to you, or HR, about the issues they have with a coworker?
These signals in and of themselves are not proof that there is a bully, but they are something that you should explore further
Workplace bullying isn’t illegal in the US, but that doesn’t mean that bullying and other toxic behavior isn’t damaging to your business. Research done by The Economic and Social Research Institute found that 60% of bullying targets considered leaving and 15% of those bullied did leave. The Workplace Bullying Coalition reports that direct expenses from turnover due to toxic workplace culture cost US employers $223 billion between 2014 and 2019.
The indirect costs are more difficult to put a dollar amount on, but they have a definite impact on productivity, quality, and employee morale. Professors Christine Porath and Christine Pearson surveyed more than 800 leaders and employees in 17 different industries and reported the following findings in Harvard Business Review.
Now that I’ve got your attention, you might be wondering how common workplace bullying is in the US. According to a January 2021 study by the Workplace Bullying Institute (WBI), 49% of the respondents had been either the target of or witnessed abusive behavior in the workplace. Additional research indicates that witnessing a colleague’s abuse can be just as damaging as experiencing it yourself. The 2021 WBI results were extrapolated to estimate the prevalence of workplace bullying in the US. Potentially, 48 million US employees currently are, or have, experienced bullying directly. If you include witnesses to bullying, that total rises to 79 million US employees subjected to bullying on an annual basis.
Contrary to widespread belief, workplace bullies don’t select weak or vulnerable targets. Bullies target your best, most dedicated, and most experienced employees. According to additional research done by the WBI, the average age of a bullying target is 42 with 75% of targets falling between the ages of 30 and 59. Males and females are targeted nearly evenly. Men are targeted 51% of the time. Women are targeted 49% of the time. Men are more likely to bully overall, but women who bully more often choose to bully another woman. A majority of bullying targets are described as agreeable, helpful, and professional. These are the employees you want to have longevity in your organization, but the bully works against that goal.
Why do bullies bully? No one knows for sure as workplace bullies are not lining up to be studied, but several theories have emerged. Based on the description of the typical target (a mid-career and experienced employee) we can assume that some bullies engage because they are jealous of the more accomplished, experienced, and influential person. One WBI survey revealed that 34.5% of individuals were targeted because the bully felt threatened by either the target’s superior technical skills or their personal popularity among colleagues. Perhaps the bully feels the need to knock them down (or out) to look good. On the other hand, the reason may be simple and practical—the bully wants the target’s position.
Another theory is that the bully targets someone to create a distraction from their own incompetence, lack of work ethic, or integrity. If bullies can keep others focused on someone else’s behavior, maybe no one will notice them leaving early, gossiping, or goofing off during work. Or the bully senses that the target may have the moral fortitude to stand up to them or turn them in for compliance or integrity infractions.
Much of workplace bullying gets explained away as two colleagues who just can’t get along. Anyone can get stressed at work or have a difficult day. And every workgroup has disagreements. One outburst that’s out of character for your employee doesn’t mean there is a bully in your workplace.
Bullying is a distinct set of behaviors that crosses over from basic incivility to bullying based on the behaviors’ intensity, frequency, and duration. The bully will expend a significant amount of time focused on the behavior of their target. The energy and emotions spent will be strong. The bully may exert energy in the form of yelling at, humiliating the target, or embarrassing them in front of others. Or the bully may spend an exorbitant amount of time complaining (or crying) to you as the leader (or to HR) about the target. The extreme amount of time, energy, emotion, and power the bully leverages against the target are what makes bullying feel distinctly different from a common workplace conflict.
Bullies use a variety of behaviors to manipulate, humiliate, and control the target and those around the target. The term “bully” conjures up images of the classic playground bully known for pushing, taunting, and name-calling. While this kind of overt aggressive behavior can occur in the workplace, most bullying and abuse is much more subtle. Below are some typical actions a bully will utilize; note that this is not an exhaustive list.
Most targets describe experiencing a mixture of the behaviors above. The behaviors continually escalate in frequency and intensity over time. In response, the target’s work begins to decline as they spend time trying to defend themselves from the attack. Their enjoyment and commitment to their work begins to wane. Often the target’s mental health, and in some cases physical health, deteriorates.
Once a bully starts their work in your organization it is extremely difficult to stop the behavior. However, you should intervene and do your best to reset behaviors.
If you witness the inappropriate behaviors first-hand, you can (and should) step in immediately to stop the inappropriate behavior.
If an employee reports the bullying to you, take their concerns seriously. Investigate their claims. Consult with an HR partner (like Audacity HR) if needed.
Explain to the bully employee that their behavior is inappropriate and will not be tolerated in your workplace. Provide clear expectations for what behaviors need to be stopped and how this employee should treat all employees going forward. Be prepared to discuss any consequences should the behavior continue.
As discussed in the previous section, most bullying is not overt. You may not be able to see much of the bullying that is taking place. For example, it may not be readily apparent that someone is intentionally leaving an employee out of important meetings or maliciously withholding information or resources. You may only learn about this behavior in an exit interview. Or you may wonder why a certain department has more than normal turnover.
The best way to protect your employees and your business from bullies is to try to prevent them from taking hold in the first place. Employees who bully thrive in an environment where there is lack of leadership, accountability, and low expectations. Below are some tips for creating an environment in which it will be difficult for a bully to take hold.
Lay out in writing your intolerance for bullying behaviors and what the consequence will be for employees who choose to go down this path. Utilizing an HR partner can help ensure your policy is clear and fair.
Most businesses set expectations for job performance, but rarely explain expectations for how employees will interact with each other. Talk to new employees about how you expect conflict to be handled and how employees will collaborate and support one another.
Coach employees, provide feedback, and demonstrate that you are a fair leader who will hold others accountable for their behavior in the workplace.
Make sure you hold all employees equally accountable for their behavior regardless of their role or level of success in the organization.
Be sure that your behaviors are in line with your expectations. Don’t let your stress lead to behaviors that you wouldn’t tolerate in others.
Help your employees learn what to look for in terms of bullying behaviors. Let your employees know that you will take any concerns seriously and follow through with any consequences should an infraction of bullying happen. When your employees have a language to describe their experience, and leadership also speaks that language, employees are much more likely to report incidents earlier.
Taking a few simple steps to create a positive culture of accountability will make a bully think twice about setting up shop at your business.
Dawn Johnson is an author, speaker, and the founder of On the Rise Development, LLC. As an advocate for thriving workplaces, Dawn has dedicated more than a decade to helping leaders and employees grow in their careers.
She earned her B.A. in Psychology along with a Master of Business Administration and a Master of Arts in Management, all from The College of St. Scholastica.
Dawn is certified in the Reina Team Trust and Leadership Trust Scales which are used to assess trust levels of individual leaders and within teams.
She is the author of Outwit the Workplace Bully: 8 Steps You Need to Know to Reclaim Your Career, Confidence, and Sanity.
To learn more about Dawn and On the Rise Development, visit www.ontherisedevelopment.com
Read Dawn’s article on TRUST in the workplace here.
Interested in HR support? Check out the online resources at www.audacityhr.com.
Looking for more resources to prevent workplace bullying? Check out our blog posts: Part 1 and Part 2!
Input your search keywords and press Enter.
Sign up for our newsletters and never miss an HR update!
